Bengali Madness over Marriage: A Journey from Single to Double!
Being Bengali is just awesome sometimes! You don’t have to convince your parents for further studies because they will certainly decide from your pre-nursery to the university. We can marry whoever we like apart from the fact that they need to like the family. We are generally close to our parents and can discuss the boy/girl we liked in school. We gossip with our father over a cup of tea and we can bribe them also by a simple Onion Pakora. We enjoy marriage ceremony more than others (don’t want to offend anyone). In India, marriage is more than a celebration or union of two souls; it is the madness going around the two families for more than 6 months. So, here are few important steps of love marriage.
1. Groom’s family meet the girl
Wow! That is the main course of every marriage. The groom’s family needs to like the girl. She has to be the best in looking, cooking and studying. Any deviation will harm the groom as it is purely his choice and the ability to choose anything to come from the parents’ upbringing. So the question arises about the parent’s upbringing is a total failure.
2. Groom’s family meets Bride’s Family
If the first stage has gone well, now the same situation comes with the bride with an extra clause. Suddenly the mother of the bride tells her, “Your in-laws are a bit moody. Can you adjust with them? I can find someone better than him.” It is like choosing a better brand that serves well.
3. The clauses and rituals
Suddenly both the families become friends and discuss their family heredity and rituals they follow for years. Some of them are real and some of are purely out of revenge. Using Silver vessel for Haldi, the Pandit has to do that certain rituals before marriage become so essential that the bridegroom becomes clueless that they are getting married or their parents are.
4. Details need to be followed precisely
The Sarees have to be purchased from Adi Dhakeshwari or shoes will be from Khadims and Sree Leathers. Tant, Dhakai and balucharis are the mandatory elements and without it, a marriage can’t be considered a valued one.
5. Pre Wedding Madness
We Bengalis have so many rituals, from Aiburobhat, to Mehendi. We are upgrading ourselves and adding more rituals like Sangeet, Mehendi rasam etc. All our friends and extended families arrive prior one day or two in advance and started gossip about the opponent. If any good looking girl or boy is trying their luck in marriage, these relatives make sure that the next marriage will not be a loved one.
6. Wedding Bonanza!
I am not talking about the bride and groom as they will be busy with the over emphasized rituals and Mantras. I am curious about the certain boy and that beautiful girl whom I saw just a few minutes back behind the Pandal. Suddenly one Uncle slowly elaborates, “I saw them taking the stairs, just have a look on them”. I thought and trying to convince that nothing is going on. Meanwhile, 3 brothers of the bride run to the stairs and slap the boy as they find something fishy. I don’t want to delve into the details. But a sweet love story ends with the uncle smiling proudly that he wins the battle.
7. Post Wedding Sadness
Uff! With all the crying and sadness, the bride bids goodbye and starts a new journey with a new family. She is thinking constantly how she can call someone “Baba” as her father has the sole authority to be called by that name. But the groom comes to the rescue and suggests a similar name like “Bapi”, and the bride’s face enlighten with joy. The groom becomes the constant supports system for her as he is the only bridge to join the new family that she needs to accept. Live goes on but.
8. The next meeting
After 16 months the next fight between the families starts over… guess what? Who will decide the name of the girl? The parents of the groom or the bride.
Get married soon!